Chicago Burb Expands Handout Program Despite Underwhelming Response

In yet another example of misguided largesse, the Evanston, Illinois, city council has decided to broaden the scope of its Guaranteed Basic Income (GBI) initiative - despite an underwhelming response thus far. This ill-conceived experiment aims to provide handouts to select individuals without strings attached.

On Monday evening, Council Members narrowly passed a measure expanding the age restrictions for child participants in the scheme. According to reports, this decision stems from earlier worries about insufficient participation among targeted recipients residing within census Tract 8092.

Surprisingly, merely sixty families signed up out of ninety available slots – hardly indicative of overwhelming demand. Undeterred, proponents continue pushing forward with plans to further dilute resources.

Trump’s Shooter: Featured in a BlackRock Ad?

Things just keep getting stranger.

It's been revealed that the individual responsible for attempting to take out Former President Donald Trump made a brief appearance in a TV ad for none other than liberal darling investment firm BlackRock back in 2022! Yes, folks, you read that right - this wannabe assassin got his 15 minutes of fame before trying to commit one of the most egregious acts imaginable!

"In 2022, we ran an ad featuring a teacher from Bethel Park High School, in which several unpaid students briefly appeared in the background, including Thomas Matthew Crooks," their official statement reads. Oh yeah, because clearly stating facts somehow makes them less guilty?

And then there's this gem: "We will make all video footage available to the appropriate authorities, and we have removed the video from circulation out of respect for the victims."